My father died on a Friday afternoon in late March at the very beginning of the COVID crisis.

Letting go and healing in months of isolation is what I would describe as macro-grieving. 

It happens when we lose someone.

It happens when there is a final goodbye.

It happens when the loss is deep and permanent.

But, the thing is, COVID has magnified what I call micro-grieving: temporary losses, disappointments, and unresolved relationships.

Frankly, I think COVID has forced us to sit with the small defeats.

And it’s been a messy business.

The coping.

But the truth is, there are some tools that can help each of us survive (no matter how long social distancing endures):

1. Don’t let your feelings turn into facts. For empaths, this is HARD. For our imaginations, especially when we’re physically separated from those we love, can go wild. Do your best to slow a racing thought from writing the end to a story that may have no end in sight. (Remember, other people are micro-grieving, too).

2. Old things have to pass away for new things to grow. Please don’t hear this with a Susie Sunshine tone because, honestly, letting go is never easy. A graduation was streamed. A family moved away silently. Or, in my case, a proper funeral was not possible. Many of us have been left baffled at how to move on in these circumstances. But here’s the path to peace: We have to figure out a new way to honor what we love…and our hearts will grow. Maybe the situation can’t be fixed, but maybe the soul change will be beneficial.

3. Search for gratitude. COVID has fed us all a pretty good lie: We’ll never have the things we want again. For each of us, of course, those longings are different. But this dangerous temptation to focus on the “have-nots” can destroy our present. Every day, it can be healing to simply close the day with a single thought: “Even though life looks different now, I still have…” With enough practice and consistency, I swear, you’ll think of something new each time – and the love for this moment will grow.

I don’t know the enormity of your grieving, but I am confident of this:

Your heart and your story are bigger than COVID and any other threat to your peace.

So, hold onto what you know to be truth, allow life to grow, and dig for the gold of gratitude.

The sun will still rise tomorrow.

And I believe in my bones:

You will, too. 

— 

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