It is a lie I was told long ago:

“One day, you’ll escape the bully.”

Only then, I grew up and came face-to-face with a painful, incredibly disappointing reality:

The bully will follow you. 

No, not the same exact bully. But a bully nevertheless.

They lurk at the gym, the workplace, and, sometimes, even in the church.

But, perhaps worst of all, sometimes they are even closer to us.

And life requires interaction with them…daily.

Okay, I promise I’ll stop with the painful truth there.

Because, the thing is, I believe you have what it takes to face the bully…with grace.

From my experience, running away doesn’t work.

From my experience, retaliation doesn’t work.

From my experience, apathy doesn’t work.

No, it is only when we decide to love that person that any of it becomes bearable.

Compliment them, and your pain will lessen.
Smile at them, and your pain will lessen.
Offer generosity, and your pain will lessen.

Because none of their pain – the kind that causes all the trouble to begin with – actually involves you.

It’s deep.
It likely requires plentiful counseling.

But what the bully needs, more than anything from you, is a reminder that what they say and how they act at their worst doesn’t define who they are.

It’s what we all need. Bullies just have a funny way of asking for it.

So, maybe you’re kind to the bully but nothing changes, and you find that they will never be “safe”.

But, maybe you’re kind to the bully and you allow yourself perhaps the greatest miracle of all:

You see that they are human.

And there’s something important they are here to teach you after all.

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