“Am I okay?”

I think it’s the most important question we’re forgetting to ask ourselves. 

Look, I’ve seen your Instagram and your kid updates and your fall inspiration.

But how are you right there…in your heart?

Personally, I have a meaningful job.

I run most days of the week.

And I spend an hour every Wednesday in therapy.

But let me just be honest.

Right now is stretching me more than I’ve ever been stretched.

But here are three things that are helping me cope and continue:

1. I fight to prioritize sleep. No, not militaristically. But every day I check in with myself, and I adjust my bedtime accordingly. How deep was my rest? How can I make healthy adjustments? And what it my biggest barrier to letting go? One thing that is making all the difference for me is ear plugs since my anxiety is triggered by noise.

2. I am learning about my personality type. I know, I know, this isn’t anything “new”, but a few weeks ago I started reading about the Enneagram (I’m a #1). Truly, it has been eye-opening to understand how my personality deals with stress. Y’all, #1’s create. This is why I write, even as fires in my own life abound. Literally, it is what I was made to do (and why my life’s mission is to help every woman bloom, too, no matter the soil). So, writing is right up there with my basic needs for my balance and mental health.

3. I am choosing to see life for how it really is – right here, right now. When I look to the past for too long, depression finds its way in. When I focus on the future for too long, anxiety consumes my soul. So, I can put the phone and the to-do’s down. So, I can actually listen to the world and the little people in my midst. And I remember tomorrow isn’t promised. Today’s a gift. And I savor it in this cheesy, teary-eyed way. I watched my mother battle cancer as a child, and I watched my father battle and succumb to cancer earlier this year. The pain anchors us to reality. We’re just passing through, but love is how we slow down.

So, you and me, we don’t have the answers.

But I think we still have time.

To learn who we are.

To learn what we need.

To learn why we have this one life to live.

Because we are okay.

Our hearts are just growing beyond the boxes we and others have built for ourselves.

It hurts a little.

But, my gracious, we’re still alive.

And every single day, I swear.

We’re a little stronger, too. 

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