There’s no way God can use this. There’s no way God can use this.

In many ways, I used to be the pessimistic version of Dorothy.

But what I couldn’t see back then was this:

God will bless the broken…we just don’t know when. 

Truthfully, I used to get pretty impatient during the process, and my innermost doubts would arise.

You’ve gone too far off the track.
You’ve gone too far for forgiveness.

And, perhaps worst of all, I heard a voice say:

God’s not going after you this time.

But what I’ve found is that no one and nothing can get me out of this unhealthy self-talk.

Until, that is, I do something that helps me let go.

I have to relax to believe.
I have to relax to remember.
I have to relax to give it to God.

So, I take a run around my neighborhood.

So, I grab a notebook and scribble down what I feel.

So, I find the gushiest love story and watch at least 10 minutes of it.

When life seems to be cracking, our default is to fan the flames of the worst.

But in doing something that calms us, we can reset our hearts to peace.

When I’m running, I’m not going to say something I’ll regret.

When I’m writing, I’m literally bleeding with ink all the poison on the inside.

When I’m watching something cheesy, I’m not revisiting every single thing wrong with my story – I’m watching someone else make all the decisions.

And, in the moments after, maybe nothing external has changed about my life.

But, on the inside, I find that I’m a little lighter – that sleep and reconciliation with God might be possible after all.

Because even when I don’t feel the Holy Spirit, I am not abandoned.

God is using my pain to build resilience.

So, when the next wave crashes, I won’t just be ready.

I’ll be willing to ride the waves.

And trust that, underneath the bumps and the fear and the tension.

It’s God’s will for me.

—

*Join Lauren on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter for more inspiration.

Click here to sign-up for weekly encouragement from Lauren.