A few years ago, when my kids were little and exhausting, I realized I no longer had energy for drama.

If people talked about me, I no longer tried to fight it.

If people excluded me, I no longer begged for a seat at the table. 

If people needed to dig dirt to feel better, I no longer wanted to listen (much less contribute). 

And, frankly, I lost people.

I no longer could contribute to their thrilling narratives.

But, if I’m honest, what I gained was even better.

Peace in my actions. 

Purer thoughts in my heart.

And, ultimately, people who were safe.

They may not be as numerous.

But they’re real.

Here are three keys I have found to letting go of drama in your life: 

1. Be okay with not getting the last word. Humans love a good story. I would argue that they love a fight even more. But what I have learned is that getting the final say in a confrontation chains you to anger and frustration and, most likely, theatrics. And strong emotions are only left to build. Not everything can resolve, but you can choose to walk away with the peace that you did what you could, and you walked away with peace drowning out the noise left behind.

2. Be okay with being less relevant. One of the ways I avoid drama is by limiting my social media scrolling. I used to worry that if I didn’t follow the drama, I’d miss the joke, and I would have nothing to contribute. But that’s just not true. I just have, in my opinion, better things to contribute now. I talk about ideas more than people.

3. Be okay with most people not understanding you. They won’t get why you’re not more upset. They won’t get why you’re not involved. They won’t get why you just take things. But what I want to tell you is that you won’t find your people until you lose your drama. And you won’t have to explain anything. They’ll be waiting in a hiding spot that probably looks much like your own.

I can’t promise you that letting go of anything is easy, but distancing yourself from drama will make room for better things. 

Deeper relationships. 

Healthier conversations.

And the kind of life that doesn’t just pursue peace but prioritizes it.

And doesn’t look back with regrets.

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